Tuesday, 4 August 2015

A Calm Life

This is a bit of a deep post, so look away now if heartfelt ramblings are too much for you on a Tuesday morning! 
I've always been a deep thinker, and for far too long I've allowed other people to walk all over me in order to avoid conflict. As a teenager I was badly bullied by my 'friends' and 'boyfriend' at the time, something which I think has had a long-lasting effect on me, because basically it ruined my life at the time.

I managed to turn my life around and found new friends, and also a decent boyfriend, and eventually I grew in confidence, but still I allowed people to take advantage of me, possibly as a result of being afraid to lose my friends again.

This post isn't about bullying or negativity, its actually about positivity -  I think I've just digressed a little....

Basically, I've overhauled my life over the past few months, it hasn't been easy, but in lots of ways its been necessary. For the first time in my life I feel like its me in control, I can pick and choose what I want to do, and if I don't want to do something, although I still struggle to say no, I can say it more easily than I could before. Maybe its blogging that has helped me, I've always wanted my own blog and stopped and started so many times over the last 5-6 years, now I've finally done it I love it, it needs work and its a long way off being perfect, but I do it for the pleasure. 

I think I've just finally realised life is short, far too short to waste doing things that make you unhappy anyway. I saw this quote and it totally revolutionised my life, I keep it in mind whenever I start to doubt myself or question a decision:


My life has calmed down, and in all honesty I don't yearn for the busyness I had before at all, I love my lazy weekend mornings and the me-time I've discovered. It makes me feel more balanced and rational, and despite going through a phase of quite bad anxiety a few years ago, it's diminished now to the point where I can quite clearly place the blame firmly on being surrounded by the wrong people and spreading myself far too thinly, basically (as the quote above says) treating myself like an afterthought. 


I look in my diary now and when I see spaces I feel happy rather than like a failure, my sense of permanent 'fear of missing out' isn't so strong. I'm not ready to hang up my heels and put down my cocktail glass just yet though, I still have a good social life and am blessed to be able to see and do a lot more than some people, its just that now I do it on my own terms, and it feels SO good.


SHARE:

6 comments

  1. Awwh hunni, this post really touched my heart. I'm so proud of you & all you've accomplished. I was exactly the same with worrying about not having dates in my diary, but now I love having time to myself & not having plans. I love the quotes you've used in this post as well, so true! :) x

    www.hello-cat.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aww thank you lovely, means such a lot to me! Having some me time is great! I love being social still, but I just don't want to run myself tagged trying to please everyone all the time!

      Lucy x

      Delete
  2. This is all such great advice, and so inspirational! It's wonderful that you were able to turn your life around and figure things out for yourself like that. Lovely post, thank you for sharing your experiences with us!
    xo Kiki
    http://colormekiki.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your lovely words, means a lot :)

      Lucy x

      Delete
  3. Aww what a lovely post Lucy! You've done so well to get back on track and take care of yourself. Thanks for sharing this, it's definitely a relatable post!

    www.sophieslittlesecrets.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Sophie, I'm glad it didnt come across as negative haha :)

      Lucy x

      Delete

Thank you for taking the time to comment on my blog!
I read and appreciate each and every one :)
Feel free to tweet me @yellowicingblog - I'm trying to get better with Twitter!
Thank you!
Lucy x

© YellowIcing. All rights reserved.
BLOGGER TEMPLATE DESIGNED BY pipdig